Saturday, July 25, 2009

Maybe she's born with it...'cause it sure as hell wasn't Maybelline

Do I look thinner to you? Lighter? Maybe like I'm missing some extra tissue? Not so much here, or here, but maybe, down here?

...No? Really? Well that figures, I suppose you'd have to look a bit too closely for both of our comfort to see that I am now the proud owner a of a uterus with a single cavity.

Confused? Yeah, so was I. So were most people. Let's just say I was born with it.

After a year and a half of active trying to conceive a child (only to realize that perhaps we were rushing that process and we may not even really want children of our own) I was diagnosed (after seeing 7 different medical specialists not to mention trying any number of crazy or outlandish tricks, methods, suggestions, prescriptions, etc. (see my post from June for more details)...I digress...I was diagnosed with having a uterine septum. Wha? Erm, WTF is a uterine septum, one might ask. You know the piece of cartilage that separates your nostrils. THAT is a septum. Crazy, right? Yeah, me and only about 2% of the female population have one. Lucky me. So, the septum in my uterus was not made of cartilage, but rather extra tissue that never dissolved as it was supposed to in my 20th week of gestation. Yep, you read that right folks. MY 20th week of gestation. Meaning: I was born with it. For shits and giggles, I've been blaming my mom for this one. That makes her feel groovy!

So, what does one do with a septate uterus? Use the extra half for storage? Keep on trying and hope for twins (one to a side?). No, no, surely not no. One has two choices. Neither are to continue trying to have a baby and hope for the best (well, I guess that is a choice, but from the information I got (specific to my septum) that was not a wise choice. The two choices are to 1. Have it removed or 2. Don't have it removed. Option 2. sucks, BTW because it means I continue to have the symptoms and other problems I've been having...for example 20-28 day periods (yes, you read that right too, not 20-28 CYCLES. Nope. That'd be "normal". My bleeding lasted for 20-28 days. Yum! So, we opted to have the sucker removed. That's what I did yesterday.

My very own personal nurse (AKA: My older sister, Teed) arrived late Thursday night ready to help and support my uterine resection (that actually is the technical term). For funny, she brought me these: HA! We woke early and arrived to the hospital a bit after 6:30am. I got checked in and set up in my pre-op bed. I was asked my name, date of birth, and reason for my visit roughly 8,942 times. And, right around 9:15am they wheeled me off to surgery. On my way, I was narrowly run-in-to by a large cart carrying a load of empty boxes (ah, for comic relief). The kind, adorable, and totally "Portland" anesthesiologist mixed me a lovely little cocktail and I was off to the land of Zzzzz's. In they went, out it came, and next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room. That was probably the worst part, I started to come-to and loathed having that oxygen mask on my face but as I tried to regain enough consciousness to removed the mask myself the cramps and pain set in. Opting for groggy over in-pain. I dosed for a moment until a nurse arrived to offer me some IV meds. YAY for IV meds! That took care of the pain and before I knew it I was in my own clothes and being wheeled to my partner (AKA: Cap'n Handsome)'s car.

We arrived home and I got a heating pad on my belly, a bagel and some thai food in my belly (YAY for a reason to eat all the carbs I want) and then took a nap. As the day progressed on, I felt better and better. Sadly, my troops (Teed and the Cap'n) were fading fast, as they didn't have the luxury of a medical induced coma as a mid-morning nap. Pity, isn't it? So, we shuffled off to bed early and I woke up a bit early to do some little chores (re-arranging the pictures and cards on the fridge counts as a chore, right?) (and so does blogging?) and I'm excited for a day of visiting with my favorite sister (no offense to my 5 sisters-in-law, but she gets that title, she's earned).

In a few days I'll return to my gentle and quiet surgeon to have the balloon that is currently occupying my uterine cavity (to prevent the walls from sticking to one another as they heal) removed and in a few months I'll have a follow up ultra-sound to make sure they've removed all of the septum and that I have a healthy amount of cells in my ovaries. After that, we've decided to wait on the kid-factory. I need at least a year to recover, mentally, from this whole ordeal. I've been in and out of doctor's offices for the last 2 years. I've gone through (or rather, put myself through) a lot of tumalt and strife about the whole "baby having" issue and before we consider trying again, I really need some "I feel healthy, I'm not crazy, Life can be normal" time. So, that's exactly what I'm going to have.

So, my truthful and not flippant answer to anyone who asks if "we have kids" "plan to have kids" "are trying" "have thought about having kids" or "thinks we're ready to have kids" to me on my 30th birthday. October 1, 2010 is when I'll be ready to talk about that with someone other than my partner. No offense, no snarky-ness, no issue. Just, ask me in October 2010, K? Until then, you can find me enjoying life with my partner, working in my chosen profession, soaking up time with my family and friends, relishing in the birthing and growing up of my nieces and nephews (all of them, blood related or not).

So, there you go. That's what I've been up to these days. Right now, I'm enjoying the fact that the sun if pouring through the kitchen windows (highlighting my lovely refrigerator arranging work) and that I can hear the water fountain outside. I'm looking forward to spending time with my sister today and can't wait for what the next year will bring for me and the Cap'n. Hopefully, it will be a year full of nothing. No houses, no babies, no pillows propped under my hips after sex, no disgusting Chinese herbal teas, no abstaining from drinking alcohol, no self-doubt, no timing sex, obsessive temperature monitoring, no discussions about cervical mucus.
Just a regular old year. Ahhhhhhh! Can't wait.